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Sauer Reviews

July 2006 - Posts

  • Theme Park Rumors: Simpsons Ride to Replace Back to The Future at Universal.

    Besides the usual music, film, and game rumors. I also enjoy reading about all the new theme park gossip. So everyonce in awhile I may post Theme Park Rumors. This one is taken from Screamscape;

    The Simpsons / Back To The Future Replacement - Rumor - (7/25/06) The latest buzz on the rumored Simpsons ride is that the working title right now is The Simpsons: Sprint Through Springfield. In addition to using the IMAX system for the ride, we’ve heard the plan is to add a bunch of 4D Theater style effects to the new ride.

    I remember the first time I went on BTTF:The Ride, I was absolutely amazed. Now with rides like Spiderman, BTTF seems really dated. I like the idea of a new 4-D attraction. Though I'm not sure if The Simpsons is really the right fit for this kind of ride. Speaking of cartoon rides, anyone else miss the old Hanna-Barbarra ride? Nicktoons just don't so it for me.


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    Posted Jul 31 2006, 07:56 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • New Guitar Hero II Tracks Announced.

    Taken from NEOGAF:

    Apparently, Activision just announced three more tracks for the game:

    Anthrax - Madhouse
    Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil
    Stone Temple Pilots - Tripping on a hole in paper heart

    With the already announced list being:

    Drist - Arterial Black
    Black Sabbath - War Pigs
    KISS - Strutter
    Rush - YYZ
    Reverend Horton Heat - Psychobilly Freakout
    Van Halen - You really got me
    Butthole Surfers - Who was in my room last night

    The best song they could get from Anthrax is Madhouse? That's pretty crappy if you ask me. The Motely Crue song makes me happy though.

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    Posted Jul 31 2006, 07:28 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Sauer Sweats through Clerks II

      

       So I decided to go see the new Smith film last night. When we walked into the theater the first thing I noticed was the theater was warm. Turns out the A/C was broken. So while we were sitting inside a theater, I basically watched Clerks II outside in the dank Florida swamp. I was a wet mess when I left the theater. Could this have ruined my experince watching the movie? Sure. I don't believe if effected my opinion though. So despite the incomfortable enviroment, how was the movie?

       Well, let's get this out of the way, Clerks II had more then a few laugh out loud (LOL for webnerds) moments. Smith seems to still have a few tricks up his sleeve. The funniest parts of Clerks II were the zaniest ones. Humor that just seems to come out of nowhere, most likely thought of on the spot. Without spoiling it too much for those who haven't seen it. The Pillow Pants story made me giggle, as did Jay's tribute dance. The few geek conversations had me chuckeling here and there. Frankly, my positive attitude stops there.

       When Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back came out, Smith had sworn to stop making films in his viewaskew universe. His next film Jersey Girl was a commercial and fanboy bomb. It's the film that so many people love to hate despite half of the film's so-called critics probably have never seen it. So while dealing with the blow of a commercial bomb, Smith decided to go back to the beginning of it all. He wrote on his Clerks 10th Anniversery DVD that he realized he still had something to say about the slacker life, and Clerks II would be his outlet of sorts. So what was so important to go back to his original?

       Clerks II is basically about what happens when a loser decides it's time to gorw up. Hmm... I can see what Smith has in mind already. The problem with his point in this film is that it feels like more of a surrender then a happy ending. The film's message is completely illogical and contradictory. Sure, if a ton of money appeared out of NOWHERE, maybe you could graduate from working for the man, to being the man. The probability of this happening is about the same as becoming a famous movie director like Smith himself did. Is it wrong to want more from life? Smith seems to think so. I understand the importance of friendship in life, but that doesn't make your life complete. Not that I agree with completely leaving your so-called life to start over either. So Smith's message just comes off washed out in the end.

       The other problem with Clerks II is it's timing. Clerks II's original sub-title was The Passion of The Clerks, a lame joke that wouldn't have fit this film at all. Thank goodness they dropped it. Unfortunately, the film has plenty of lame jokes as well. The Lord of The Rings jokes are a few years too late, as are the Star Wars refrences. The Transformers jokes also felt off balance too. Do 19 year olds like Transformers? That show's popularity was at its peak when I was a kid, I'm 27. Most of the jokes had been done to death on various message boards, SNL skits, or sitcoms. When it comes to pop-culture mockery, Smith seems to be a little behind the times. Where the origianl Clerks bascially started it.

       The characters may have changed a little in ten years, but mostly not for the better. The new guy is absolutely overblown, making him pretty useless in conversation and humor. Randal appears to be more of ignorant prick, then the sarcastic underachiever he was in the first film. Dante plays a much happier role then before, taking away a bit of his cynical bite. Rosario Dawson plays the perfect catch, but I doubt any fast food resturant in the world has a manager that good looking. Smith's wife does okay, though I still don't fell like she should ever be a love interest in any  film. The cameos are mostly weak despite a funny performance by Wanda Sykes.

       With all of this down, I havnen't even gone into why Clerks II ultimately failed to me. It all comes back to the original. The first Clerks film was an honest look at the slacker life. These people seemed smart enough to get places, but were stuck behind for various reasons. It was written at a time when culture was changing. At the time Clerks was ahead of the game. It was smart, cynical, and real. Clerks II seems to miss all of these points for me. The banter between Dante and Randal never reaches the hillarious complexity of the original. Instead of a witty statement on counter-culture, Smith has made gross-out comedy that pales in comparison. In the end, the real question is what did Smith really say by returing to Clerks. If you see the film, Silent Bob's only line says it all, not much.

     

    An appropriate 6.9/10

       

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    Posted Jul 31 2006, 04:49 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Weekend Box Office 7/28-7/30

    1. Miami Vice $ 25.2 Million NEW
    2. Pirates of the... $ 20.5 Million $ 358.4 Million
    3. John Tucker Must Die $ 14.1 Million NEW
    4. Monster House $ 11.5 Million $ 43.9 Million
    5. The Ant Bully $ 8.1 Million NEW
    6. You, Me and Dupree $ 7 Million $ 59 Million
    7. Lady in the Water $ 7 Million $ 32.1 Million
    8. Little Man $ 5.1 Million $ 50.2 Million
    9. The Devil Wears Prada $ 4.8 Million $ 106.7 Million
    10. Clerks 2 $ 3.9 Million $ 18.5 Million

     

    Well Mr. Mann did okay this weekend, but if you think about the film's high budget this really isn't much of an opening. Pirates held strong becoming the highest grossing Disney film of all time. John Tucker did better then expected, at least better then I expected. Maybe the teen gross out comedy isn't dead afterall? Clerks II and Lady in the Water both had significant drops. Though with Clerks II measly 5 million dollar budget, Smith has already made his money back. M.Night needs a break.

    The biggest losers this week are computer animated films. The Ant Bully debuted at a very underwhelming number, and Monster House dropped pretty fast as well. It seems oversaturation maybe the problem. The studios need to chill for a bit before greenlighting every idea. Cars seems to be the only CG success story this year. I would imagine most parents can't handle all these kid flicks every other weekend, which is why less people are going.

    Next Weekend: Ricky Bobby

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    Posted Jul 31 2006, 04:36 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • E3 Cancelled!!!

    The ultimate tradeshow of videogame geekdom has been deemed unprofitable. In my opinion this is awful for gamers everywhere. E3 is like 2nd Xmas for many gamers. What's next Comic-Con? Let's hope these industry folks get their heads rethink this. I can hear the geeks in their parent's basement weep now.
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    Posted Jul 31 2006, 12:14 AM by sauer with no comments
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  • Netflix Roadshow

    Have you heard about this? Netflix is going from city to city and screening films from their original film location. For instance they are showing The Shining in that freaky ass hotel, and Clerks at the Quick Stop. Check out the list to see if they are coming to your town. Personally, I'm waiting for them to come to South Beach for The Birdcage. I've always wanted to see a film in a transvestite club.

     

    http://www.netflix.com/roadshow

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    Posted Jul 29 2006, 03:19 AM by sauer with 1 comment(s)
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  • Movies of The Week 7/28/06.

    So what movies will be dragging us out of our homes this week?

    Miami Vice (RT 49%) - Hmmm.... Well Michael Mann has released some amazing films, but I have no idea why he needed to go back to his original hit. Seems like a bit of a sell-out move on his part. I never really watched the original show, and I have little interest in this one. 

    The Ant Bully (RT 55%) - If anything, 2006 may be the year that studios realize that digital animation isn't the saving grace of the family film. We used to get maybe 2 of these kind of films a year. This year it seems like overkill. Besides, the ants in this movie look way to similar to ANTZ. I wish someone would pass a law only allowing Pixar to make these films. Frankly every non-Pixar CG film I've seen has been awful. Bring back Brad Bird!

    John Tucker Must Die (26%) - I'm not 14, so this really has no appeal to me whatsoever. If this movie doesn't bomb I'll be surprised.

    LIMITED RELEASE (aka the movies that aren't playing in S.Florida)

    Little Miss Sunshine (94%) - Well it's safe to say the critics seem to love it. I remember reading that the bidding war for the film was fierce when it debuted on the festival circuit. An indie comedy starring a great ensemble cast. Steve Carell is in this, meaing I will see this.

    Scoop (44%) - Ughh, Woody Allen finally makes a movie worth wacthing (Match Point) and then releases another copycat comedy. Don't get me wrong I love Annie Hall with the rest of them, but like most people I'm over the neurotic jewish man in New York comedy. Of course this takes place in London, so...wait it doesn't make a difference. When did Scarlett Johansson become his new girlfriend. Gross.  Scarlett RUN AWAY FROM THE MAN WITH THE CANDY, RUN AWAY!!

    That's all for this week.

     

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    Posted Jul 28 2006, 04:38 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Spiderman 3 to go IMAX, but not in 3-D.

     

     

    No huge surprise here, but after seeing Superman Returns come to life in glorious 3-D I was really hoping we would get similar treatment. 3-D or no 3-D the IMAX Experience is still pretty amazing. I don't think you could get a better picture or better sound if you tried. I'll pay the extra $3 bucks for a superior experience. 3-D would have really sweetend the deal though.  

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    Posted Jul 27 2006, 05:59 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Scrubs creator to make Fletch Won with Zach Braff

     

     

    Let's put this into Q&A format

    1.Q: Who in the world wants a Fletch sequel/prequel? A: Nobody

    2. Q: What happend to Kevin Smith and Jason Lee? A: Nobody Cares, though Jason Lee as Fletch makes MUCH more sense in my opinion.

    3. Q: Was Fletch a good movie? A: Not really..

    4. Q: Why Zach Braff? A: The Scrubs creator is short on friends/ideas.

    5. Q: Is Scrubs a good show? A: No. At least I don't think so. Sorry Eric.

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    Posted Jul 27 2006, 12:06 AM by sauer with 4 comment(s)
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  • New Super Mario Bros vs Super Mario Bros 3 - The New Guy vs The King

     

     

       A few months ago, Nintendo launched it's first 2-D Mario Platformer in 10 years. New Super Mario Bros has been a huge hit for the company. It's currently sitting high up on the top games sold list. While critical reaction has been mostly positive, there has been a small amount of backlash floating around messageboards. Some people believe The New Super Mario Bros is a huge letdown. I've heard a bunch of complaints to name a few, power-ups, challenge,  level design, and length have all been questioned.  Apparently, Nintendo will never top Super Mario Bros. 3, the so-called "Holy Grail" of platformers. So I decided to go back and play the King of all platformers to give it a fair shake. Has Nintendo really released an average platformer, or is gamer's nostalgia hindering the ability to criticize logically? I've decided to attack each complaint.

    Power-Ups - This one is easy, Super Mario Bros 3 had a huge amount of power-ups. Let's look at the breakdown

    Mario 3 - Mushroom, Flower, Racoon Tail, Tanooki Suit, Frog Suit, Hammer Bros Suit, that weird shoe, P-wing, and some other map items

    NSMB - Mushroom, Flower, Mega Mushroom, Mini Mushroom, Turtle.

    The key to this arguement is actual execution, while Mario 3 had a huge amount of suits, it was very rare that you ever needed them or were you given them. The ability to fly gave Mario 3 a whole new level of platforming, something NSMB lacks. NSMB Mega Mushroom and Mini Mushroom worked on the same level, but actually served more of a purpose, a lot of secrets coudln't be unlocked without them. The Turtle shell was useless. So even though their were a lot more, maybe their were too many?

    Mario 3 - 9 / NSMB - 8

    Winner: Mario 3

    Challenge - Is NSMB really that easy?

    There are a lot of people that claim NSMB is way too easy. While I wouldn't say the game is easy, I would say it's easier then some of its older siblings. Mario 3's last few worlds are TOUGH. Luckily there are still plenty of ways to collect 1-ups to help you through. NSMB only reaches frustration a few times, and mostly just for coin collecting, and the 1-ups flow like wine. When I recently finished Mario 3, I had 30 lives in reserve. I had 75 lives by the time I finished NSMB.

    Mario 3 - 9 / NSMB - 7

    Winner: Mario 3

    Level Design - What game has better levels?

    I've heard more then a few complaints that the level design in NSMB is lazy, or lacks creativity. Well these people must have forgotten about most of Mario 3's levels. Frankly speaking alot of Mario 3's levels are pretty straight forward. Every once and awhile you will come up with something pretty genius, but mostly levels begin and end pretty quickly without much to do but run forward. NSMB has about a hundred ideas spread out through each of it's worlds. The variety may not be on the same level as Mario World, but in most cases it's right on par. Despite what nostalgia tells us, NSMB has a much more vaired level design. The same goes for the boss battles, which repeat over and over in Mario 3. Much more then NSMB.

    Mario 3 - 7 / NSMB - 9

    Winner: NSMB

    Length - Is NSMB really that short?

    No, NSMB isn't that short, in fact it's pretty average for a Mario platformer. It actually has more levels then Mario 3. The level's length are about the same as well. If anything Mario 3 feels longer due to the difficulty. Some levels may take most gamers a lot more practice extending gamplay. Another obvious advantage to Mario 3 is it's lack of save feature. You would pretty much have to finish the game within one sitting due to the lack of save. The re-releases over the years have given players a save option which makes things much easier. NSMB has an advantage when it comes to level replay. In order to collect everything you may need to play a level multiple times, in Mario 3 this option is not available. At least not on the original.

    Mario 3 - 8 / NSMB - 8

    Winner: TIE

     

    In Conclusion:

    Mario 3 - 9 9 7 8 = 33

    NSMB - 8 7 9 8 = 32

    So is Mario 3 really the better game. Yes, but not by much, and in no way should NSMB be considered a disappointment. In the long run it seems gamer nostalgia is really to blame. Anyone with a DS should own NSMB, it's a classic worthy of the Mario name.

    Overall (not an average)

    NSMB - 9.0

    Mario 3 - 10.0 (minus nostalgia - 9.5)

     

     

     

     

     

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    Posted Jul 26 2006, 05:44 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • NEW OLD REM Collection

     

    My wife loves these guys...

    From Pitchfork:

    Music industry, launch your acronym attack! On September 12, R.E.M. will drop the first-ever complete CD and DVD anthologies of their 1980s I.R.S. Recordings. OMG, LOL, etc.

    The collection, titled And I Feel Fine... The Best of the I.R.S. Years 1982-1987, will come in two packages. Number one (for the likers) is a 21-track single-disc collection of fan and band favorites. Two (for the lovers), a dual-CD collector's edition with Anthony DeCurtis-penned liner notes, includes the aforementioned material as well as 21 rarities, alternate takes, previously unreleased mixes, live recordings, unreleased songs, and more. R.E.M. were responsible for compiling the set, which is being released via EMI on September 12.

    A DVD, When the Light Is Mine... The Best of the I.R.S. Years 1982-1987 will be released separately on the same date. It brags 2+ hours of content, featuring previously unreleased television performances, interviews, outtakes, and every one of the band's I.R.S.-era music videos, including "Wolves, Lower," which debuts with the film (unless you want to spoil the fun and click on the YouTube link below).

    Click here for Tracklisting info

     

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    Posted Jul 25 2006, 11:23 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Is Pitcthforkmedia the new Rolling Stone?

          

     

      In the last few years Pitchforkmedia.com has had it's finger on the pulse of all things indie. Way before that Strokes record came out, way before the Garden State soundtrack was a best seller on amazon, Pitchforkmedia was one of the only places to hear about new music. Known for their extrememly harsh and unorthodox reviews. Pitchfork is hated among alot of mainstream journalists. Why? Pure jealousy. Not only does Pitchfork have a steady rise in popularity every year, it's also responsible for the breakout of the most recent indie rock stars.

           Sure Pitchfork isn't ALWAYS first to discover new acts, but in most cases they are the first to get said artists selling records. Pitchfork's "Best New Music" section almost guarantees a boost in album sales. So what artists am I talking about? Lets just name a few.... Sufjan Stevens, The Arcade Fire, Madvillian,  The Go Team, Spoon, Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah, Deerhoof, and lately Tapes n Tapes. To further push the point let's look at Tapes n Tapes. Their record "The Loon" was gathering blog hype for the past year. They practically sold 10k records on their own. Pitchfork reviewed the band a few months after it's unofficial release, a few months later they were not only signed, but had booked a huge tour and gaining strength. I think they played Letterman the other night.

        Is Pitchfork the only reason for Sufjan Stevens shows selling out within days of going on sale? Of course not, the music is ultimately what makes or breaks a cult artist. Some of these artists have been able to break into the mainstream (Modest Mouse, The Shins, Postal Service, Iron & Wine) while some other Pitchfork favorites (Devandra Banhart, Xiu Xiu, The Microphones) continue to stay well planted in the undergoround. Which makes Pitchfork even more enticing for new music junkies. Regardless of it's rasing popularity, Pitchfork is still grounded in what they do best, finding great new artists and exposing them to the world. When was the last time Rolling Stone really introduced you to something besides the new Chili Peppers album? 

    Pitchfork

     

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    Posted Jul 25 2006, 04:42 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • The Fountain - Trailer

    RAD...





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    Posted Jul 25 2006, 01:42 AM by sauer with no comments
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  • The Next Big Thing in Indie Rock? Voxtrot

       

    What is the next big thing in indie rock? Tapes N Tapes? No, those boys are already blowing up. I direct your attention to Austin, Texas very own Voxtrot. Why Voxtrot, well because it's almost too obvious. They have the formula. Without thinking too hard, it goes something like this:

    The Shins + Belle and Sebastian - 75% Twee X Spoon + The Strokes - Generic lyrics + 25% REM = The Next Big Thing In Indie Rock.

        Well, something like that. Truthfully, Voxtrot has been generating a lot of hype off of very little. Currently they have 2 EP's floating around, which on their own don't really show a second coming, but rather hint at one. The true test (the debut LP) is still in the cards, but one things for sure, these guys will need to step up to ride with the big boys. While still catchy, their music is a bit underwhelming compared to bands like The Shins or Spoon. Of course, they are still young, and even with only 2 EP's released, the growth between the two is easy to recognize.

       What happens next is up to the band. Frankly, I can see this going either way. They have a sound that could appease the MTV2 indie fan, but also show the depth for the true underground listeners. It's quite possible that an awful music producer could ruin their chances of being nothing more then VH1 background music (please see Float On, by Modest Mouse). Voxtrot couldn't be in a better spot right now, but balancing underground street cred and mainstream marketability is never easy, especially for a band just starting off. Go too mainstream this early and you may loose your original fanbase, resulting in another one album wonder. The world of indie rock is at their fingertips, lets hope they go with the more creative decision.

    So how's the music?

    Both EP's - 7.5

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    Posted Jul 24 2006, 05:02 PM by sauer with no comments
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  • Weekend Box Office 7/21-7/23

    . Pirates of the... $ 35 Million $ 321.7 Million
    2. Monster House $ 23 Million NEW
    3. Lady in the Water $ 18.2 Million NEW
    4. You, Me and Dupree $ 12.8 Million $ 45.3 Million
    5. Little Man $ 11 Million $ 40.6 Million
    6. Clerks 2 $ 9.6 Million NEW
    7. My Super Ex-Girlfriend $ 8.7 Million NEW
    8. Superman Returns $ 7.5 Million $ 178.4 Million
    9. The Devil Wears Prada $ 7.4 Million $ 97.6 Million
    10. Cars $ 4.9 Million $ 229.4 Million

    I thought everyone had already seen that Pirates movie. I'm a bit surprised how well it's been doing. Almost everyone I've talked to has told me it wasn't all that. The key to the Pirates success is easily it's wide genre appeal, kids, teens, adults, elders all seem to love them Pirates. Clerks 2 got off to a ok start, considering the film had a budget of 5 million, it was pretty obvious this film would make money regardless of it's opening weekend. Look for massive DVD sales to make this a truely great investment.

    It looks like Warner Bros made the wrong investment in Lady in the Water, which completely tanked given it's budget and hype. It seems people are finally starting to get sick of Mr. Night's antics. It looks like Disney made the right decision by kicking his Lady script to the curb. Somewhere, in some Disney boardroom, they are all clapping and patting themselves on the back. Ivan Reitman's superhero comedy was the ultimate loser this weekend. So when's Ghostbusters 3?

     

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    Posted Jul 24 2006, 04:44 PM by sauer with no comments
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